| Author |
"Alien vs Predator: Requiem" |
Brikar
Member
Posts: 753
Joined: 01.06.06 |
| Posted on January 05 2025 05:31:42 |
|
|
"Alien vs Predator: Requiem"
Starring: ...Um... some humans.
Written by: Who the fuck knows? Or cares?
Directed by: Apparently, "The Brothers Strausse", whoever they are.
The most intelligent part of this movie is the word "Requiem" in it's title. Requiem is defined as: 1. Requiem Roman Catholic Church
1. A mass for a deceased person.
2. A musical composition for such a mass.
3. A hymn, composition, or service for the dead.
Too bad the that word has absolutely nothing to do with this movie. Because the rest of it is an atrocious abortion of a movie, a mere shadow of former greatness of two iconic sci-fi/horror creations.
But I can't knock it too much. After all, I kind of had a blast watching it. Much like it's predecessor, this "AvP:R" is terrible enough that you can laugh through nearly its entire runtime. Now, apparently the producers attempted to do some kind of thing where they listened to the feedback about the original and use that to improve the sequel.
Gone from this sequel are laughably incoherent references to the frozen, shape-shifting Antarctic temples of ancient alien-worshipping civilizations. But that doesn't really make this movie any better, it just makes it less obviously silly. Instead of a team of scientists lost in a stone-built Autobot city, we're instead treated to a cast of nobodies in the middle of East Bumfuck, Colorado. The main characters are a pizza delivery boy, his Barbie-esque maybe-girlfriend, his ex-con brother, the clueless town sheriff and an Iraq vet played by "24"s Reiko Aylesworth who manages to be the only character in the movie with any kind of identifiable presence (or sexiness).
Essentially, the "Predalien" from the end of the first movie crashes in Colorado and starts wreaking havoc with the townsfolk. It apparently has some kind of plan... don't ask me what it is, because we only see this creature extremely briefly in the movie, and one time it does something to some pregnant chicks. That's about all I got. The rest of it is the hapless humans running from point A to Point C for no reason, getting slaughtered all the while. Oh, and a regular Predator that shows up to ice the Predalien.
The entire movie is essentially a pastiche of scenes stolen from previous "Alien" and "Predator" movies. And I really mean that - you can immediately recognize just about every shot or sequence or concept from the earlier movies and apply it here. They even steal specific lines, and a shot in the film's climax is stolen right from "Aliens", including the music!
I wondered, of course, why they bothered to spend the money on making it new instead of just editing together a bunch of clips from previous movies to save money. It would be better... and it would even be funnier, too. Because make no mistake, this movie is hilariously bad. There are a couple of actually witty one-liners, but that's about it. The Predator lacks any kind of the presence he used to have. He literally JUMPS AND LANDS into every scene he's in. That's his entrance... EVERY TIME.
Score: H... for Hilarious. And Horrific.
"The proliferation of Christianity from an Asian point of view: it was huge, cuz they're so short."
|
 |
| Author |
RE: "Alien vs Predator: Requiem" |
Tupperfan
Administrator
Posts: 636
Location: Montréal, Québec
Joined: 10.07.06 |
| Posted on January 05 2025 06:08:35 |
|
|
Ben, thanks for confirming my plans of completely ignoring this movie.
Good review though!
tupperfan.blogspot.com
|
|
| Author |
RE: "Alien vs Predator: Requiem" |
Brikar
Member
Posts: 753
Joined: 01.06.06 |
| Posted on January 05 2025 16:52:06 |
|
|
It's not that I think the movie should be ignored... just that if you're gonna watch it, you need to be either totally in the right mindset or inebriated in some fashion. Because it is pretty friggin' hilarious if you know what you're going in for!
I had seen the first one with a couple of friends and we had so much fun just tearing it to shreds that we needed to see the sequel. We did, and had a total blast. But we went in with the intent of seeing something utterly shit-tastic.
"The proliferation of Christianity from an Asian point of view: it was huge, cuz they're so short."
|
|
| Author |
RE: "Alien vs Predator: Requiem" |
Tupperfan
Administrator
Posts: 636
Location: Montréal, Québec
Joined: 10.07.06 |
| Posted on January 05 2025 18:34:44 |
|
|
Well, you did convince me that if I had to watch it, it would be with that intent in mind. Sounds fun!
tupperfan.blogspot.com
|
|
|
| Author |
RE: "Alien vs Predator: Requiem" |
Jeremy
Administrator
Posts: 1557
Location: Illinois
Joined: 26.05.06 |
| Posted on January 07 2025 01:09:21 |
|
|
I find the whole Alien vs. Predator thing almost obscene in a way. I could give a crap about Predator or whatever...but Scott's Alien (the horror poem), Cameron's Aliens (the vietnam allegory) and Fincher's Alien3 (the arthouse study in nihilism) are three amazing pictures that stand head and shoulders above most of the other genre fare out there.
It's strange too that each of those directors made their artistic mark, one by one, with their respective Alien film, then went on on to become some of the most admired and imitated directors in the business.
The autumn days swung soft around me, like cotton on my
skin. But as the embers of the summer lost their breath
and disappeared, my heart went cold, and only hollow
rhythms resounded from within.
Edited by Jeremy on January 07 2025 05:54:55
|
|
| Author |
RE: "Alien vs Predator: Requiem" |
Brikar
Member
Posts: 753
Joined: 01.06.06 |
| Posted on January 07 2025 05:12:32 |
|
|
I think John McTiernan's original "Predator" is just as good as the "Alien" films. Like the Scott's original "Alien", "Predator" is definitely a less is more approach; the creature stalks them through the entire movie, and we don't even get a good glimpse of it for quite some time. Each of the characters is distinct from the others, and to watch these hardened badasses slowly become fearful and paranoid is pretty riveting. By the time you get to Arnold's mano-a-mano final setpiece, where he's lost all of his fancy gear and has to rely completely on his wits and survival skills against a totally alien foe that he's slowly come to understand over the course of the film... and we finally get our best look at Stan Winston's amazing creature... just... damn.
It's a fabulous mixture of spot-on writing and great direction. McTiernan went on to direct "Die Hard" and "The Hunt for Red October", so he was no slouch, either. Sure, he hasn't done much of note lately, but still... some impressive features under his belt.
"The proliferation of Christianity from an Asian point of view: it was huge, cuz they're so short."
|
|
More 
Guests Online: 2
v6.00.307 ? 2003-2025